It’s never happened before because the working class has never been unified nationwide before. Soybean farmers in Utah are not connected to teachers in Boston or steelworkers in Pittsburgh or auto manufacturers in Michigan or nurses in San Diego. There’s never been a singular cause that affected all of those groups of people at the same time.

If it ever could happen, it would be because the President was a colossal dipshit who fucked every aspect of the economy across the country, except that would almost certainly cause the legislature to put an end to such rampant and corrupt tyranny.

Right?

It’s not rocket surgery.

Stand up with the sheet.

Place your hands inside two adjacent corners so the elastic is at your wrists.

Bring your hands together, folding the sheet in half, and flip one corner over the other hand so that one is tucked in the other.

With your free hand, reach down and gather the other two ends which are not tucked.

Let go of the tucked corners, which will slip apart again.

Curse the gods, and then roll the crumpled mess between your arms until it’s small enough to stuff into a closet or drawer.

Profit.

Fake outrage was funnier when we didn’t have real problems to argue about.

Right? Like, maybe the precursors to cancer reduce libido?

Yeah, but like a four foot turkey with sharp teeth and talons. I’m not sure I win that fight.

Like, I’m pretty sure I could beat up a 10 year old kid. That’s about the size (if not the strength) of a velociraptor. But if that kid is all coked up, has kitchen knives in each hand and a football helmet with razors on the face mask, I’m not nearly as confident. Then if there’s a second one waiting to attack from the flank, then fuck that.

And those are just the ones we know about. Thousands of people have been abducted without due process. We don’t have an accurate record of everyone ICE has assaulted or kidnapped.

They also refused to release the remains of the people killed, denying they retained any. Eventually, the University of Pennsylvania admitted to retaining some of the remains of 12 year old Delisha Africa and returned them to her family, in 2021.

Like, imagine a baker hired to bake bread. That baker claims he makes the best bread, using a traditional Grimm’s recipe where he grinds up human bones to make bread. And you think that’s a terrible idea, because there’s no source of human bones that would be not horrifying. But everyone wants him to be the baker, so he starts murdering people to grind their bones to make his bread. And you’re horrified because of all the murder and mutilation, but also the bread is terrible. You can’t bake bread from ground up bonemeal. It’s bad bread. But all the people who wanted him to bake are eating it, insisting through gritted teeth “Mmm, sooo good… You’re just a hater. Are you triggered yet? Yum, delicious.” And you want to scream because none of this is normal or moral or even human, but also it’s just poorly done. The bread is all weird and clumpy, and it’s been burnt on the crust and underbaked in the middle. There’s either too much or not enough salt, and none of it is consistent at all. It’s just the absolute worst bread ever made because the baker is incompetent and evil. And he’s transparently stealing money from the register. But because they love the baker, and they know it bothers you, all the people who voted for him are pretending this isn’t a nightmare collapse of society. They keep eating the bread, dying from the lack of nutrition or basic hygiene, and sometimes their loved ones will be murdered to become the bones that make the bread, and suddenly it’s all terribly unfair but they’d still vote for the guy again.

Telescopes would be fun. Everyone doesn’t need their own, if you can sign it out on a clear night and return it in good shape.

I oppose it simply because it doesn’t work. It is not a deterrent, and it does not serve justice to put people to death, and it costs far more to execute someone than it does to rehabilitate them (the most expensive alternative - I’m not suggesting rehabilitation is an option for everyone).

And sometimes we execute innocent people. Like, how many of your family members would you be willing to put to death to keep the death penalty? Every innocent victim of the death penalty had a family, and that family never imagined it could happen to them.

I would argue that it would impact the effectiveness of the effort, but the intention is just as important.

Like if you want to make the world a better place, you can pick up litter in your local area. You could volunteer at the library or conserve energy in whatever way is easiest for you. The desire to move forward is critical, because nobody has all the information. Nobody can know all the angles, and be aware of every impact. Everyone is just doing the best they can with the information they have.

Wanting to be better informed is also a progressive ideal. Know better, do better. We might discover that something we thought was beneficial is actually harmful. The difference between a conservative choice and a progressive choice is that when new information demonstrates that behaviors conflicts with values, the progressive changes their behaviors while a conservative changes their values.

I fully believe that this is an attempt to proactively delegitimize any attempts to prosecute former Trump officials for their actual crimes. You can just hear the dipshit chorus of “You protested when we prosecuted Comey and James, and now you’re trying to do the exact same thing to us!”

I don’t think it’s helpful to think in terms of left and right. That presumes that each side is roughly a mirror analogue of the other.

Think in terms of forward and backward. Will your ideas and political leanings push society forward? Will you be making the world better than you found it? Or are you trying to resist change, fighting against progress because the status quo, or the recent past, benefits you in some way?

Yes, but will they be able to capture the true narrative complexity of asking a desk toy to provide randomized platitudes and admonisitions? How can they please the built-in hardcore fans without alienating the newcomers who don’t have an encyclopedic understanding of the extensive lore? Will they tackle some of the more problematic canon events that have aged poorly in a more enlightened society? Or will they gloss over those moments and modernize the deep mythology on which the intellectual property is based and risk abandoning the edge that made it popular in the first place?

Concentrate and ask again

Fuck.

Bull, and I cannot emphasize this enough, shit. Everyone is not a little bit bigoted. That’s something bigots tell themselves when rationalizing their own prejudices. You should probably take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if you’re the problem.

“Progressive” describes a position, not a person. A person can be many things. A person can hold contradictory viewpoints, and fully believe two incompatible thoughts at the same time. It’s tragically naive to assume that people are rational or consistent.

Can a person think they are progressive and also be a bigot? Of course a person can. Everybody is the hero in their own story.

There are thick, uncrossable lines, and there are a lot of people who don’t mind crossing them. You cannot compromise with a bigot. You cannot find common ground with a person who would subjugate you, or someone who sees you as less than human.

We can have disagreements about many political issues, but when you are standing next to pedophiles, rapists, fascists, and bigots, you shouldn’t be surprised to be called a Nazi.

So the question becomes, what is the test of “purity”?

Used to be treason was a capital offense. Now, you just need to gargle the shriveled testicles of a psychotic octogenarian.

Plotting, eh? How diabolical of her.

The torture department has been outsourced and will be delivered via zoom. Please make sure your laptop is plugged in and your camera is working prior to the next millennium.