!dadjokes@lemmy.world
cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/tenforward/p/865666/some-quick-math-with-scotty
He ordered everyone around….
The wedding was okay, but the reception was excellent
He was driving her buggy.
Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler…
There’s a morel at the end, and that’s no shitake. 🍄🍄
Reality.
His neighbors sent a card that said “Get well, soon!”
I’m dismayed….
… I hear they’ve been looking for a room temperature super conductor for ages.
I spent all that money and had nothing to chauffeur it….
Doc: ‘I’m afraid that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
You have to listen variscosely!
…when we got home he made a bolt for the door.
New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where Minneapolis….
One more would be too farty.
They orca-strate a plan.
It blocks the paws.
Jerry can.
…Now I’m in hospital, waiting to be seen.
R.
Note: this is a true story, it happened a couple hours ago.
Gentle comedy rule
…but I changed my mind.
Tide!
I have amenities for my manatees!
Dis-gruntled!
They don’t have zippers. They just have watergates.
cross-posted from: https://feddit.org/post/23929720
100% of people were unhappy that their tent fell down.
They tend to fly over people’s heads.
A weatherman
She insisted it was carrion.
and moose tastes a lot like chocolate pudding.
That way I know I’ll always start off on a Goodyear!
Labracadabrador!
You guys groaned enough at my last pun so have another.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/57150383
Cops suspect a cereal killer.
With horn-aments!
You should have seen the Luke on her face.
Because he had low Elf-esteem!
Because they’ll become a mummy.
cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/post/710052
It’s called the egg mit muffin.
Star-bucks!
A shore loser
He was picking his nose. ⛄️
Tap for spoilerBecause he has a really dad sense of humor.
It’s not my fault.
Sleigh-er! 🤘🎅
The elf-abet!
To keep the calves from the corn.
Re-bawks
It’s at tooth-hurty.
I can tell just by looking at them.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/39711441
Laughing stock.
They were all in mint condition.
EDIT: direct upload so viewers don’t have to rely on imgur ;) I wasn’t aware that this is an issue, but luckily it is an easy fix .. and that you for letting me know.
The same middle name.
It’s my goal post.
They’ll see. They’ll ALL see!
It’s just plane travel.
Vel-crows!
Where there’s Will there’s whey.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/39507522
Everything was booked….
It turns out I was in the burn unit😳
Their age! 😐
Pumpkin Pi!
Yammies!
They’re Hungary Hungary Hippos 🇭🇺
I always go back 4 seconds
He plays first baste!
SpoilerROTINI!
Pil-grahams!
Vegetarians!
Local votes are a bit more private.
Default mode: public.
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gwl [he/him]
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Wolf Link 🐺
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