Honestly, my favorite “doughnuts” aren’t doughnuts at all. We get a variety, and I go for the cinnamon rolls, fritters or eclairs before I’d grab an actual doughnut.
Also, most Americans can’t spell doughnut, so you’re better off ctrl-fing for donut.
Looks like April Fools Day came late this year.
How about the owner of Trump Burger getting deported?
Oh. I guess he’s nowhere near the richest, I gave him extra credit for irony.
Technically nothing, but I do have coffee at the office.
Except on Thursday. That’s doughnut day.
Don’t be silly. It’s a washing machine made from humans.
You go to the “retirement home” but it’s really just an all inclusive resort. You just spend that last year partying harder than you ever have your whole life.
Because it’s not strictly one handed or two handed.
Its a combination of two separate families, like an illegitimate child. (Their logic and definitions, not mine)
This might not be uncommon around here, but…
Between D&D and video games, I can identify most medieval weapons and armor.
Mythological beasts as well.
One morning we woke up to a complete stranger pounding on the door yelling “YOUR DOGS ON THE ROOF!!!”
She had climbed out the attic window, and fell to the roof over the first floor. I don’t know how long she was pacing the roof trying to find a way back in.
A bunch of us were going somewhere insignificant when we noticed someone had fallen asleep.
So, we did what any reasonable person would do and got on the first highway we found and drove the wrong direction.
Once we got somewhere we were pretty sure he wasn’t familiar with, we pulled over at a local diner, woke him up and challenged him to guess where we were.
Why sell lots of one thing when you can sell lots of two things?
It’s not about the rug, Dude, it’s the fucking principle of it!
The movie is more fun.
About nine months after a dirty joke.
That’s the great thing about racism, it doesn’t have to make sense!
Mine were too. And my wife is usually skeptical of strange baked goods, but a pickle straight out the jar with tongs and tissue paper can’t get much safer!
We sit on the porch and pass it out.
This year we offered candy or pickle. We went through a gallon jar of pickles!
I only take my kids to the theater when I want to see a cartoon kids movie and not look like a creep.