Once every couple weeks or so.
once a month or three.
I have an active social life but mostly around shared interests, eg book clubs, sports, some activism, etc. Classic friendships not so much, having drifted from childhood friends. Feels like we live in different worlds. My partner has taken that place.
yeah same. i do stuff. i see people. none of them are my friends.
i haven’t had a close regular friendship since my early 20s. mostly because back then we had lots of free time to do nothing but talk about our feelings and shit. once i graduated i no longer had that luxury in life. on the flip side, i was incredibly lonely/depressed most of HS/college sometimes to the point of suicidal thoughts… even though I had many close friends and was socially popular. once i graduated and started spending most of my time alone… i stopped being lonely.
all my old friendships ended because we became radically different people and no longer had any common interests or values. same thing with all my romantic relationships. i never found a partner who wanted to grow or change like I did, so we broke up.
I know I have friends, but they’re all technically my wife’s friends and their husbands. We probably socialize once or twice a month, depending on schedules. I love them all, but I have no friends that I socialize with 1:1. It’s always a group event. So in a way it feels like I have no friends.
The one friend that is truly and originally my friend, since middle school, I’ll see maybe once a month if I’m lucky and it’s usually a framily event with our wives and kids. And the time and distance apart feels wider than ever as we’ve gotten older.
Socializing at 40 is… different, and oddly lonely.
what i dont’ get about socializing as a 30-40 something… is how ultra focused it is on money and politics… and almost nothing else. every convo is politics or money related. in money include jobs, houses, cars, and expensive consumer purchasing. or travel/vacations.
i literally haven’t talked about movies/shows/games/books with anyone in like a decade. if i try to bring that topic up people get weirded out and go right back to politics, money, or travel.
all my dates these days only care about my money and my politics too. nobody asks me what i like to do in my free time or what my favorite things are anymore. i saw a date between some younger 20 somethings and they were listing their fav shows/movies and talking about them and I was so incredibly jealous. last time I went on a date where someone asked me about that stuff was like 15 years ago.
i had a date this weekend and all she wanted to know was my politics, my job, my family/education background and what kind of car I drive. It was degrading.
Depends on the group.
I go climbing with same group at least once a week.
Then I have my big circle of vegan friends, where we try to see each other at least once a month but that can happen more often sometimes.
Then there’s my classic circle of friends I’ve been friends with forever and the same for that, usually once a month.
So even if you disregard my weekly climbing I usually see at least one group of friends every other week but sometimes every week.
Edit: 31 by the way
friends?
All my friendships basically dried up and fizzled away by 25. Old friends from school got married, went down different paths than I did, etc.
I’m 38 now and I still occasionally talk to a couple of friends every few months or so (one from middle school and one from high school), but it never goes beyond casual conversation. I haven’t gone out with anyone besides the girlfriend in over a decade.
You guys have friends?
40’s. Once every 2 to 4 weeks, sometimes less. As an extrovert, this is killing (figuratively) me.
The big fall off is around 28-30 when most people are committing to families. After that you’re lucky to see them once and awhile.
I’m 48. I have a few buddies that I rarely see in my hometown. I travel once or twice a year on a city break to drink and eat with a few old pals.
But yeah, generally I don’t hang with anyone outside my own wife and kids and extended fam. This isn’t through choice, it just seems to be the way things have gone.
You mean when I’m not depressed, isolated and withdrawn?
I don’t remember…
I’m 36 and don’t really consider myself to have friends. Working from home for years and just not really “clicking” with people in my city keep me isolated but it’s alright. The few social functions I find myself obligated to attend kind of suck so I don’t feel I miss out on much.
Are people over 40 allowed to reply? Or is that too large of an age gap?
lol. 41 checking in. What are friends? I’m an introverted nerd. I hang out with computers.
it says 25+ i would assume anyone older 25 can answer.
OP’s post history is fascinating. You have to check out the modlogs of their deleted posts to get the full story. OP is obsessed with 21-23 year olds dating people over 30. They also seem very conflicted about their stance on it, sometimes defending those relationships and talking about their plans to write a story where the hero is dating an older person, other times saying it’s wrong and asking why such relationships in fiction aren’t called out as wrong, and saying heroes should stop it from happening
Oh man, this is that one? I went through their history a couple of days ago when they made one of their weird posts.
And then there is the obsession with virginity and being useless if you are one and over 25.
i think everyone on this thread should say their approximate location, then DM anyone on your area to see if you’re closer enough to be IRL friends.
I’m in South West Michigan area.
