Hierarchy. The invisible sky wizard makes the rules, and if we don’t follow them we burn. And so on down the line, priests, pastors, presidents (unless they’re black, hoo boy did that send them over the edge), police, parents. Do as you’re told. Do not question authority. It’s practical preparation for school and the workforce at least.

Meanwhile, all of my birthday parties were keggers because the weather was nice and the adults liked to party. And I was at most 4 years old when I learned that I shouldn’t touch the small squares of mirror. Or the plastic film canisters.

There’s nothing quite like the smell of hypocrisy in the morning. Overflowing ash trays and last night’s beer cans when you’re trying to eat breakfast comes close though.

What’s even weirder is being raised by Christians, taught to hate the blacks and mistrust the Jews (using the usual inappropriate slurs at every opportunity), never going to church outside of a few Easters, and growing up slowly learning that your parents were full of shit and they never actually read the book they said was so super important.

Dammit. Back in my day, Jesus was just a humble public access TV host.

If god didn’t want our teeth rotted out by the time we were 20 he wouldn’t have invented Pixy Stix and Coca Cola.

*Yor

Because I looked it up once and feel the need to share:

Anferny.